One never-ending
source of information is the plethora of knowledge to be had merely by reading the t-shirts of passersby. Last Saturday I passed a man who, though he appeared
to be down on his luck, it wasn’t for lack of education. His t-shirt proudly proclaimed “I HAVE A PhD
IN LEISUREOLOGY”, which apparently does not pay all that well.
At the
Westphalia picnic on Sunday I saw a t-shirt that Cardinal fans can identify
with. On the front was the Cardinals logo. On the back it said: WE ARE STILL ALIVE
WITHOUT #5”. What was once deemed an act
of betrayal by Albert Pujols when he left the Show-Me state is now considered a
fortuitous turn of events by many Cards fans.
Albert is collecting his $68,493.15 daily salary from the DL while the
LA Angels are having a devil of a time in next to last place in the AL West at
8 games under .500.
After the Japanese
bombed Pearl Harbor, FDR assured the nation that “the only thing we have to
fear is fear itself!” On Saturday I saw
a t-shirt with a version of FDR’s famous quote.
It said “THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF. AND SPIDERS.”
I’d like to thank the young lady wearing that t-shirt for a good laugh
and explain that I was not staring at her chest. It just takes me awhile to get my trifocals
at just the right angle to read a moving t-shirt.
And now, from
my Walkipedia archives, are some more of my favorite t-shirt quotes:
The trouble with real life is that there is no danger
music.
Without me, it’s just Aweso
It’s Not PMS – It’s You!
Nuttier Than a Squirrel Turd
I’m Not a Gynecologist But I’ll Take a Look
On infant/toddler
t-shirts:
It’s All About the Binky
All Mommy Wanted Was a Back Rub
It’s Not Going to Change Itself
They Shake Me
For wives/mothers:
M.O.M. – Master of Multi-tasking
For
husbands/boyfriends:
Ladies – If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6
months.
For teachers:
I Am Silently Correcting Your Grammar
I CAN EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT I CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT FOR
YOU
DON’T MAKE ME GET OUT MY RED PEN
For students:
I Am Disappointment in You’re Grammar
For idealists:
I Dream of a Better World Where Chickens Can Cross the
Road Without Their Motives Being Questioned.
For NSA
employees:
NSA Customer Service Pledge – You Speak, We Listen!
For my friend
Steve Duncan, who has donated gallons and gallons of blood:
Aways Give 100% - Unless You Are Donating Blood
And for Baby
Boomers everywhere:
iSleepy – There’s a nap for that
