Confessions of a Prairie Bitch



One of my earliest educational memories was of being read to in class from the Laura Ingalls Wilder’s book Little House in the Big Woods.  I own a complete set of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books I intend to someday share with my grandkids.  The struggles endured by pioneer families has intrigued me ever since.  In 2008, my wife accompanied me as I marked an item off my bucket list.  Starting in Independence, Mo. we followed the Oregon Trail 2000 miles across the prairies and mountains and streams to Oregon City.  The only bad thing about the trip was that gas prices averaged $4.15 a gallon.   On the other hand, sometimes we would go for miles without seeing another vehicle.  It was like we had the road to ourselves.

My favorite books about the struggles of pioneers are personal journals they kept, and I am always on the lookout for pioneer books I’ve not yet read.   Recently while I was scanning eBook titles for reading material, one title caught my eye:  Confessions of a Prairie Bitch.  I’m guessing you are acquainted with the author, Alison Arngrim, even though you may not be aware of it.  As a child actress, Alison was hated by millions for her role as bratty Nellie Oleson in the long-running TV series based on a Laura Ingalls Wilder book, Little House on the Prairie.

In the same TV Guide I found that listed Eddie Haskell as #2 in the top-ten list of all-time TV brats, Nellie Oleson came in third.  I guess Confessions of a Prairie Brat just doesn’t have the same attention-grabbing power as Confessions of a Prairie Bitch.

In her entertaining book, Alison shares stories of her dysfunctional childhood and anecdotes from her seven years on the set of one of the most popular TV shows of all-time.  Did you ever notice that Pa Ingalls (Michael Landon) never wore underwear?  Yeah, me neither.  Alison shares some of her classic villain dialogue from the show in her book.  Like, “You know, it’s not easy being the richest girl in town”, and “I’ll fix you, Laura Ingalls!”  In one episode, Laura had this encounter with her Pa after she and Nellie got into a fight.

Pa:  Now, Half-Pint, you heard what I said.  You won’t do it again?

Laura:  Oh no, Pa, I promise.  I won’t have to.  Nellie’s scared of me now!

 

The show ran from 1974 to 1983, 211 episodes in all, and you can probably go to your TV right now and find a rerun to watch. 

As she was penning her pioneer memories, Laura Ingalls Wilder observed “The real things haven’t changed.  It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures;  And to have courage when things go wrong.”  The show generally upholds that ideal.  With the exception of Nellie, the prairie brat/bitch who made her way through childhood with insults, bullying and bribery.  Like “You listen to me, Willie.  You tell on me and I’ll say you’re lying.  You know they’ll believe me, because you lie more than I do.  But if you don’t say anything, I’ll give you chocolate and gumdrops.  Lots of them . . .”

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is currently available from Barnes and Noble as an eBook for $2.99, and well worth it, especially if you are a fan of the TV series.

After finding references to Eddie Haskell and Nellie Oleson as TV Guide’s #2 & #3 all-time TV brats, my curiosity was piqued about the rest of the list.  I couldn’t find it.  But my wife did.  Thanks to her for her research, and here for your review is the “Top 10 TV Brat’s” list.

10.  A. J. Soprano (The Sopranos)

9.    Reese (Malcolm in the Middle)

8.    Dennis the Menace in the show of the same name

7.    Wayne Arnold (The Wonder Years)

6.    Danny Partridge (The Partridge Family)

5.    Dee Thomas (What’s Happening?)

4.    The Scavo Brothers, Parker, Preston & Porter (Desperate Housewives)

3.     Nellie Oleson (Little House on the Prairie)

2.     Eddie Haskell (Leave it to Beaver)

1.     Bart Simpson (The Simpsons) (Gotta admit, that Bart Simpson is a heck of an actor!)