Walkipedia

Though I gain a lot of knowledge from Wikipedia, my main learning resource is “Walkipedia”, the conglomeration of things I have learned while walking around.  

One never-ending source of information is the plethora of knowledge to be had  merely by reading the t-shirts of passersby.  Last Saturday I passed a man who, though he appeared to be down on his luck, it wasn’t for lack of education.  His t-shirt proudly proclaimed “I HAVE A PhD IN LEISUREOLOGY”, which apparently does not pay all that well.

At the Westphalia picnic on Sunday I saw a t-shirt that Cardinal fans can identify with.  On the front was the Cardinals logo.  On the back it said: WE ARE STILL ALIVE WITHOUT #5”.  What was once deemed an act of betrayal by Albert Pujols when he left the Show-Me state is now considered a fortuitous turn of events by many Cards fans.  Albert is collecting his $68,493.15 daily salary from the DL while the LA Angels are having a devil of a time in next to last place in the AL West at 8 games under .500.

After the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, FDR assured the nation that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself!”  On Saturday I saw a t-shirt with a version of FDR’s famous quote.  It said “THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF.  AND SPIDERS.”  I’d like to thank the young lady wearing that t-shirt for a good laugh and explain that I was not staring at her chest.  It just takes me awhile to get my trifocals at just the right angle to read a moving t-shirt.

And now, from my Walkipedia archives, are some more of my favorite t-shirt quotes:

The trouble with real life is that there is no danger music.

Without me, it’s just Aweso

It’s Not PMS – It’s You!

Nuttier Than a Squirrel Turd

I’m Not a Gynecologist But I’ll Take a Look

On infant/toddler t-shirts:

If at first I don't succeed I'll Cry, Cry again

It’s All About the Binky

All Mommy Wanted Was a Back Rub

It’s Not Going to Change Itself

They Shake Me

For wives/mothers:

M.O.M. – Master of Multi-tasking

For husbands/boyfriends:

Ladies – If a man says he will fix it, he will.  There is no need to remind him every 6 months.

For teachers:

I Am Silently Correcting Your Grammar

I CAN EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT I CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT FOR YOU

DON’T MAKE ME GET OUT MY RED PEN

For students:

I Am Disappointment in You’re Grammar

For idealists:

I Dream of a Better World Where Chickens Can Cross the Road Without Their Motives Being Questioned.

For NSA employees:

NSA Customer Service Pledge – You Speak, We Listen!

For my friend Steve Duncan, who has donated gallons and gallons of blood:

Aways Give 100% - Unless You Are Donating Blood

And for Baby Boomers everywhere:

iSleepy – There’s a nap for that