The "S" Word Revisited

George Brett Homers Off Goose Gossage in Game 3 of the AL Playoffs Oct 10, 1980

In 2009, the Kansas City Royals announced the TOP 40 MOMENTS IN ROYALS HISTORY as determined by a vote of Royals fans.  The #2 moment occurred October 10, 1980.  I remember it like it was yesterday, though these days I sometimes don't recall yesterday with extreme clarity.  As a Royal’s fan I was used to George Steinbrenner’s store-bought Yankees breaking the hearts of KC fans in the playoffs each fall.  That’s why, when George Brett propelled a 98-mph fastball off Yankee reliever Goose Gossage well into the third deck of Yankee Stadium and the Royals into the World Series, my excitement propelled ME light-fixture high into the upper reaches of the living room of our Kansas City home.  Unfortunately, our couch was not built to withstand my landing.   For years after that night a Sears catalog propped up one corner of that couch, a constant reminder of my Royal ecstasy.  Amazingly, even though that hit was ranked second all-time by Royals’ fans, it was only the second most memorable hit I witnessed that night.  Indulge me for a few moments as I recount the MOST memorable hit I witnessed on October 10, 1980.

Earlier that same cool fall evening my three-month pregnant wife and I went on a young married couples hayride sponsored by our Church.   A dozen couples or so piled onto a hay-covered wagon to be pulled by a tractor along a secluded dirt road outside Independence, Mo.  Laughter and joking filled the brisk air and couples snuggled to keep warm.  Beside my wife and I were friends Bud & Beth Roher, married two years.  That was the setting for the most memorable hit I witnessed that evening.  I don’t recall what was said, just that Bud jokingly said something with which Beth took exception.  She reacted by back-handing him across the chest.   More playful than forceful, it was still enough to propel her surprised spouse backwards off the moving wagon.  I can still recall exchanging wide-eyed glances with my wife as we watched Bud roll to a stop well behind the still-moving wagon.  As the driver of the tractor, unaware of the mishap, continued down the road, Bud got up, brushed himself off, and ran to catch up.  With only his pride bruised (I think) he hopped back onto the wagon.    

Ah, young love! 

Despite occasional differences of opinion like that, Bud and Beth celebrated 35 years of marriage in 2013.  Along the way they added two sons, twin daughters, a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and 3 grand kids to their family.   I only wish the Royals could have been so productive in the last 30 years.

Though my wife and I have changed cities a couple of times since those golden Kansas City days, we’ve kept in touch with several of the couples on that hayride.   Newly-wed has been replaced with newly-retired.  Heck, even George Brett is 60!

Last week I got a call that Bud, age 59, had been killed in a car wreck.  He had survived falling off a hay wagon backwards but he couldn’t survive hitting a rock bluff in a pickup truck. 

I attended Bud’s funeral last Saturday.  If laughter is aerobic, the crowd of people paying their last respects to Bud got a pretty good workout at the Langsford Funeral Home in Lees Summit, Mo. last Saturday morning.  I suspect passersby may have been surprised to hear the sound of laughter from within walls better known for sounds of sorrow.

From Bud's twin daughter’s to his former business partner, people who loved Bud got up to talk about the laughter he had brought into their lives. 


Bud's partner recalled when the law firm they both worked  for instituted a dress code that required everyone to wear a tie.  The next day Bud wore a tie, but no shirt.  "Just goin' with the code . . ." he explained.  The next day the code was rescinded. 


His twin daughters compiled a list of the "top ten things you should know about our dad".  Among them, they explained, was that their dad always told them he had one pretty daughter and one smart daughter.  He just never told them which was which.   They also recounted how Bud (aka "Papa Bug" to his grandkids) dressed up like Santa Claus for the benefit of his grandkids, but ended up in the bedroom with a sack of frozen peas on his forehead when he got overheated. 


The pastor of his church told how Bud, a passionate fly fisherman, insisted that those who went trout fishing with him refrain from bathing, brushing their teeth, using deodorant, or anything else that might alert the trout of their presence. 


One of my first memories of Bud came just after call forwarding was introduced. Bud transferred his phone to that of an unsuspecting mutual friend and then left a message for me to call him.  After reaching the same wrong number twice,  I asked "Is this 365-1982?" "No, it's 761-4399" was the reply.  Now I may occasionally misdial a number or two, but never all 7 numbers.  I just wish I'd thought of doing that to Bud first! 


Other than Beth knocking him off the wagon, my other most enduring memory of Bud came when he and Beth participated in the NEWLYWED GAME - HOME EDITION at a party.  For those too young to recall, the NEWLYWED GAME involved asking questions of one spouse and then having the other spouse guess how their marriage partner answered.  The couple that matches the most answers wins.  One answer that Bud gave lives on in my memory.  The question was "What one word would you choose to describe your wife?"  Bud chose "sturdy".  The last time I saw Bud, which was at a reunion of our old YOUNG MARRIED Sunday School class, he got me off to one side and pleaded  "PLEASE don't bring up the story about me picking "sturdy" to describe Beth again." 


I honored that request. 


Until now. 


Bud explained to me that he couldn't decide between "sweet" and "sexy" so he compromised and went with "sturdy." He was "sorry" the rest of his life.  What husband can't identify with a classic lapse in judgment like that?  None, I daresay!   


At the start of Bud's funeral, the Pastor said something like "If Bud could say one thing to us, I think he would say "lighten up!"  I believe Bud would have enjoyed attending his own funeral as friends and family recalled the joy and laughter Bud had brought into their lives.  I suspect Bud might agree with Garrison Keillor who noted "people say such nice things about you at your funeral it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days." 


After knowing Bud for 35 years and having several deep, spiritual discussions with him, I have my own idea about what Bud would say now that the mystery of death is a mystery to him no longer.  I suspect it might be "The hokey pokey really isn't what it's all about!"   



Walter R. "Bud" Roher (1954-2014) and his dog Hank