HEEEEERE'S (Remembering) JOHNNY!!!



A Young Johnny

Twenty years ago, May 22, 1992, Johnny Carson made his final appearance on The Tonight Show. On his next-to-the-last show, Johnny quipped "Okay, all we have is tonight and tomorrow and then that's it.  Boy, I haven't used that phrase since World War II."

Hard to believe that people under 30 probably have no recollection of the man I consider to be the gold standard for late-night talk shows. It's important to note that, just because they don't remember Johnny, doesn't mean he didn't play an important role in their lives.  It's hard to calculate how many people between the ages of 20 and 50 were conceived during The Tonight Show.  Johnny once joked that more babies were conceived with him in the room than any other person in history.

As a tribute to Johnny on the 20th anniversary of his last show, here is a sampling of his quotes:

To me, democracy means placing trust in the little guy, giving the fruits of nationhood to those who built the nation. Democracy means anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. (Note: Johnny was married four times).

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Johnny's advice to politicians: Only lie about the future.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Regarding guest host Chevy Chase: "He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner."

On his last show, Johnny quipped "I'm taking the APPLAUSE sign home and putting it in the bedroom."

Born on October 25, 1925 in Corning, Iowa, Johnny was a Nebraska Cornhusker alum. He hosted The Tonight Show for 30 years beginning in 1962. Johnny died January 23, 2005 at the age of 79. Ed McMahon, Johnny's faithful sidekick and straight man joined him June 23, 2009.
　
　


Johnny as Baby Boomers Remember Him