A Branson Stairstepper Workout Mother Nature's Style

The only hiking most people are aware of on Branson's 76 Highway strip is that from their car to shopping, eating or show-hopping. But if you are so inclined, you can get a great workout just a stone's throw from Dick Clark's American Bandstand Theater.

The entrance to the Lakeside Forest Wilderness area is 100 yards south of 76 Highway on Fall Creek Road. If you are looking for Mother Nature's version of a stair-stepper workout you can find it there.

For those interested in just a "walk in the woods", there is 1.3 mile ridgetop trail described as "moderately easy". If you are game for a more difficult workout, you can find that on the 2.0 mile roundtrip hike (it seems MUCH longer) that descends a bluff overlooking Lake Taneycomo and then proceeds along a narrow ridge to several caves halfway down the bluff. That's the trail we chose.

After a pleasant, level walk of several hundred yards through a typical Ozark forest, the trail suddenly begins a sharper descent toward Lake Taneycomo. Then the bottom falls out and hikers are confronted with a 315 step staircase hewn into the side of the mountain. A plaque with the heading "THE FOLLOWING WORDS ETCHED IN STONE, AUGUST 10, 1938" is mounted there beside the trail.  It reads:

"LET THOSE WHO TREAD HERE NOT THINK THAT THESE STEPS WERE MADE NOT OF MORTAR ALONE BUT OF SWEAT AND BLOOD AND AGONY."

BEGAN AUGUST 5, 1937 - FINISHED AUGUST 10, 1938

Seems like there is one to many "NOT's" in there, but what the builders lacked in grammar, they made up for in the sheer determination it took to complete the stunning rock staircase that descends from breathtaking beauty to a (literally) breathtaking climb.  By the time you reach the top again, you will have just a taste of the sweat (a lot), blood (a little, thanks to a stray strand of barbed wire), and the agony (tempered by the ecstasy of the scenic beauty) that the builders spoke of.

Joe, Terry and I made the descent while my wife, with three knee surgeries in her not-too-distant past, walked the level ridgetop trail and then waited for us at a picnic table with her trusty Kindle.

By the time we returned from our 90 minute excursion with a climb of 315 steps (each way) behind us, I was drenched in sweat. Maybe that's why the insects chose to attack Joe instead of me. Walking in front, Joe suddenly began waving his arms above his head. "I think the mossies (mosquitoes) are getting me!" he said.   Must run in the family. Joe is my wife's cousin and mosquitoes consistently choose her blood over mine when they are hungry.

Personally, I don't think they were "mossies". I think they were an annoying, but harmless, breed of insect known in the Ozarks as "DPG's" (dog pecker gnats).

 

If you go, take a bottle of water, wear shoes not prone to slipping, and take along some insect repellent to discourage the mossies & dpg's. Also the ticks and chiggers. It is the Ozarks, you know. There is no entry charge to the Lakeside Forest Wilderness Area.