Family Roadtrip: Are You Siri(ous)?

An early morning storm on day 5 of our Orange Beach family vacation kept us off the beach. Instead, we indulged in a bit of shopping. Since my wife has been giving me some seriously repetitive negative feedback about her cell phone reception for quite awhile, we went shopping for a new phone for her. After comparing the features and benefits of the various cellular devices, we decided to replace her obsolete, "unsmart" cell phone with a "smart" phone that won't be obsolete until early this fall. We chose the Apple iPhone 4S. It features “Siri”, which folks at Apple refer to as “an intelligent personal assistant.” This is a big step up for my wife who has been tolerating a semi-moderately intelligent personal assistant (me) since the Nixon administration.

In addition to being able to check email, surf the web, set reminders and even make phone calls, you can ask Siri anything by merely pressing a button and holding it down momentarily. Following a ding (maybe a double ding), you can speak your question to Siri.

When my wife and I couldn’t remember if we got married on a Friday night or a Saturday night, I asked Siri “What day of the week was August 18, 1972?” Without hesitation, Siri responded “August 18, 1972 was a Friday.”

Amazing.

Sometimes her responses aren’t so amazing. When my wife and I disagreed about the location of Gulf Shores, Alabama, I suggested she ask Siri. “Where is Gulf Shores?” my wife asked. “Looking for adult stores . . . “ responded Siri. Not the correct answer, but I like the way she thinks.

Siri was developed at great expense by some of the most brilliant technological minds in existence. I wonder if they are disappointed that people are asking Siri things like “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” (she knows) and “Where do babies come from? (answer: “I found 8 baby stores. Two of them are not far from you).

Ask Siri to tell you a joke and she might say “Two iPhones walked into a bar. I forget the rest . . . “   Ask her if it is going to rain and she will give you a 7 day forecast, though in the future she might be programmed to ask folks in Missouri “Is that a joke?”

Siri has taken quite a load off of me. Now when my wife asks me a question I just say “Ask Siri!” So she does.  Quite a lot! Any day now I expect Siri to respond to some question from my wife with “Give it a rest, will ya?”

Occasionally I sense Siri and my wife might get into a catfight when Siri can’t or won’t follow my wife’s instructions, like “remind me to turn off the water in my flower garden in 30 minutes.” Perhaps, I have thought to myself, Apple should have a man personal assistant for women and a woman personal assistant for men. Siri for men and, maybe, Regis or Raoul for women.



Though they may occasionally squabble, Siri and my wife seem to share the same core beliefs.

My wife: “Siri, what is the meaning of life?”

Siri: “All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.

All is forgiven.