Who's That Banging at my Door?

 In the past week there were two cases of burglars breaking into homes in this area they supposedly thought were unoccupied only to be surprised by equally surprised homeowners.  One case has been solved and the suspect identified in the other case.  Crimestoppers is offering a $250 reward for information leading to his location and arrest.  That's why I was very concerned over the weekend when I heard a suspicious noise at our back door.  When I cautiously investigated to see what was making the banging noise I discovered a pair of romantic turtles. 


Not surprising that I would find a turtle at our back door.  My wife has been feeding one she named "Mr. T".  He prefers strawberries, watermelon and lettuce.  What IS surprising is that there were two turtles there - Mr. AND Mrs. T, I suppose. 

My wife was excited and immediately began speculating about whether we were "expecting".  How many . . . how long before they appear . . .?  She did what most people do when they have questions about sex - she got on-line. 

A Republican congressional candidate from Missouri recently created a stir when he claimed something to the effect that women's bodies can control whether they get pregnant or not after a rape.  This led some people (Republicans) to urge him to get out of the race.  It led others (Democrats) to urge him to stay in the race.  Well, it turns out that SOME females CAN control whether they get pregnant or not.  Not humans . . . turtles.

Here is what my wife found:  "even though the turtles may have mated, that does not mean she will become gravid (technical term for "knocked-up").  A female box turtle can hold the sperm up to 7 years before using it."   Or NOT using it,  I suppose.  My wife found that info at "Ask.com" from a source that claimed to have "19 years rescue and rehab housing turtles", so it's got to be reliable, right?

A couple of observations:

1.  Maybe Congressional candidate Akin could say he got confused and was referring to turtles?

2.  I can only imagine the havoc it would if human females could store sperm for up 7 years. 

As I went to the end of our long driveway to get the mail today, a turtle was crossing the road headed toward our backdoor.

 I think word has gotten out in the reptilian community that my wife is a soft touch.