The Town That Dare Not Speak it's Name

There are a couple of subdivisions in Jefferson City that have chosen to name streets after well-known places in the United Kingdom. My parents purchased a house on Liverpool Drive earlier this year. That could be somewhat fitting. Reece is a Welsh name. John Lennon, of Beatles fame, and his new bride, Cynthia, celebrated their 1962 wedding with a party at Reece's Tavern in Liverpool. It was the same place John's parents, Alfred and Julia, celebrated THEIR wedding in 1938.

When using place names in the United Kingdom, though, it is important to be very selective. Recently published was a list of the 10 most embarrassing place names in the U.K. Heading the list was Shitterton, also known as "the city that dares not speak its name."   It is also the city that has a hard time keeping signs bearing the town name from being stolen. After numerous thefts of Shitterton signs, the city finally resorted to having it's name engraved on a giant boulder.

Here are the names of the most embarrassing place names in the U.K.:
1 Shitterton (Dorset)

2 Scratchy Bottom (Dorset)

3 Brokenwind (Aberdeenshire)

4 Crapstone (Devon)

5 Golden Balls (Oxfordshire)

6 Ugley (Essex)

7 Crackpot (North Yorkshire)

8 Backside (Aberdeenshire)

9 Great Snoring (Norfolk)

10 Happy Bottom (Dorset)

Honorable mention went to Sandy Balls (Hampshire), Pratt's Bottom (Kent), North Piddle (Worcestershire) and Dull.

By comparison, town's making the list of top ten most embarrassing names in the U.S. were as follows:

1. Toad Suck, Ar.

2. Climax, Ga.

3. Boring, Or.

4. Hooker, Ok.

5. Assawoman, Md.

6. Belchertown, Ma.

7. Roachtown, Il.

8. Loveladies, NJ

9. Squabbletown, Ca.

10. Monkey's Eyebrow, Ky.

In a show of kinship, the U.K. village of Dull has chosen Boring, Oregon as its sister city. I think that is an admirable choice. In that spirit of camaraderie, I would like to offer the following U.S. "sister city" suggestions to those U.K. towns that made the list of most embarrassing names:

10. Happy Bottom - U.S. Sister city - Luck Stop, Ky.

9. Great Snoring - Sleepy Hollow, N.Y.

8. Backside - Peach Bottom, Pa.

7. Crackpot - Peculiar, Mo.

6. Ugley - Eek, AK

5. Golden Balls - Beaverdale, Pa.

4. Crapstone - Mexican Water, Az.

3. Brokenwind - Embarrass, Wi.

2. Scratchy Bottom - Fleatown, Oh.

And, finally, Shittertonians, walk with your heads held high with YOUR suggested sister city residents from . . . MIANUS, CT.!

To help with your future tourism marketing campaigns, here are my suggested town slogans for you:

Shitterton -  You've Really Got To Go There!

and

Mianus - On a clear night you can see Uranus from Mianus!

No need to thank me, though I would be honored to accept a key to your cities  (provided you wash your hands first!)

　

　


Old, easily stolen, Shitterton sign - Located in beautiful Piddle Valley (really)




New Shitterton sign (Try to steal THIS, A-holes!)