Ernest Goes to Court

Ernest Evans was born October 3, 1941, in Spring Gulley, S. C.  If you are a Baby Boomer, you are familiar with Ernest even if the name doesn't ring a bell.  I remember Ernest for popularizing a dance while I was in Junior high school that even I could do without people falling down laughing. 

While Ernest was in high school, two things happened that shaped his life:

1.      He began to entertain people by singing songs and telling jokes;

2.      His friends nicknamed him “Chubby”.  These days any student who referred to another student as “Chubby” would probably end up in the principal’s office for sensitivity training.

Ernest got his big break when he was offered a chance to perform for American Bandstand host Dick Clark.  Clark was impressed with Ernest’s Fats Domino (INSENSITIVE!!) impression.  When Dick Clark’s wife asked Ernest what his name was, he told her “My friends call me ‘Chubby’”.  Hmmm.  Fats Domino?  “How about Chubby Checker?” she suggested.  Chubby Checker . . . very catchy , and much better than other possible knockoff board game names like Chubby Monopoly or Chubby Uncle Wiggly.  Thus, thanks to Dick Clark’s wife, Ernest Evans became known as Chubby Checker.  His first hit, The Twist, followed coonskin caps and hula hoops right into the Baby Boomer Hall of Fame.  

COME ON BABY . . . LET’S DO THE TWIST! 



Chubby Checker & Dick Clark

As I recall, that song and the dance it inspired is still being played anytime Baby Boomers hit the dance floor.   Sure, the Funky Chicken remains popular too, but that “Bend Over, Let Me See You Shake a Tail Feather” lyric is rife with lumbar peril for aging Boomers. 

Today, in this “There’s an app for that!” age, Chubby is in court fighting to defend the name he requisitioned way back when Boomers were in puberty.  Chubby chose litigation to fight a new app that has been developed and is promoted as follows:

Any of you ladies out there just start seeing someone new and wondering what the size of their member is?  Well, now you can check right now from your phone.  All you need to do is find out the man’s shoe size and plug it in and don’t worry where you’re from because THE CHUBBY CHECKER supports shoe measurements of different regions and types”.

Chubby is suing for half a billion dollars to stop this app for two reasons:

1.       As his attorney explained, “He’s hurt”; and

2.       His shoe size is 6 ½.

Sorry, ladies (and, if applicable, gentlemen).  The Chubby Checker app is not currently available.  It has been deactivated pending the outcome of litigation. 

In the meantime, to supplement my retirement, I am developing a similar app I plan to call “The Magic Johnson”. 

And MY app will definitely take the wind chill index into consideration when making its calculations.

For you post-Baby Boomers, check out this on ramp to Memory Lane and the Twist: 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im9XuJJXylw