School Days, School Days, Lots of Brand New Rule Days

There are a few memories from my elementary school days that are still indelibly inscribed in my brain.  A couple involve food.  I can still remember walking into school and knowing immediately when cooked cabbage was the vegetable of the day.  The gag-inducing smell permeated the entire school.  To this day, I can tell you the percentage of cooked cabbage that was ladled onto my plate when I passed through the lunch line that found its way into the trash can when I left the lunchroom.  That would be 100%.  Pity the poor pupils of New York’s Public School 244.  PETA has prodded Principal Dennis Walcott to prohibit meat on the daily school menu.  Mr. Walcott calls it “trailblazing”.  I call it a tremendous idea if your goal is to fill the cafeteria trash cans with uneaten vegetables.  In fact, a new eating disorder called “Orthorexia” is making headway in America.  This disorder is described as “an obsession with eating only healthy food”.   According to Nutritionist Jenn Culbert, that’s unhealthy.  Though most of us admittedly overdo it, our bodies actually have a minimum daily requirement of bad food.  According to Culbert, “Fat helps us absorb fat soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K, and it also helps us absorb phydo chemicals in fruits and vegetables”. 

My other elementary school food memory involves a classmate, Jimmy Brymer.  Jimmy once laughed so hard at a joke I told that milk came spewing out of both of his nostrils.  I wish I could remember the joke and forget the sight of the milk coming out of his nose.

One of my most pleasant elementary school memories is recess.  This, too, has come under scrutiny from the playground powers-that-be.  In New Hampshire’s Windham School District, the school board voted 4-1 to ban dodgeball.  Oh, sure . . . I SUPPOSE dodgeball CAN be a little hazardous.   I recall scrambling once to retrieve a loose ball that was rolling near the center line only to look up and see Larry Hopkins, the biggest kid in our class, only a few feet across the line, arm cocked, with me in his sights.  I can still recall the smile that came to his face when I looked into his eyes and realized he was ready to knock me into next week.  I got hit and it probably left a mark.  The mark wasn’t permanent but the lesson I learned was:  always know where Larry was before charging to the center line after a loose ball.

Life is full of Larry’s. 

You can learn to deal with them sooner or you can learn to deal with them later but it is impossible to avoid them.      

But then, on the other hand, maybe it wouldn’t have stung so much if all Larry ever had to eat at school was carrot sticks and cauliflower.