Tales from the Katy Trail - Some Free Advice from an Elder

A Beautiful, Green Canopy over the Katy Trail

You Never Know Who Might Show Up at this Peaceful Missouri River Overlook on the Katy Trail at the 147 1/2 MM

Early Wednesday morning, August 20, 2017 I loaded my bike in my truck and headed to the Katy Trail.  Tom, who I usually ride with, was on an Alaskan cruise with his wife, Linda.  According to the itinerary, they arrived in Skagway about the time I left home to ride the trail.  According to my map, Skagway is due east of Mosquito Lake and due north of Mud Bay.  No one could ever accuse those Alaskans of trying to sugarcoat place names.  I, for one, find that refreshing.  If I need to bring Deep Woods Off or my mud boots, I appreciate knowing about it in advance.

The air was cool and refreshing and traffic was light as I pedaled west to Hartsburg after parking at the North Jefferson trailhead.  Much of the way I pedaled, quite literally, under a beautiful canopy of green.  When I arrived at the trailhead in Hartsburg there was a lot of activity. 

"How's the trail ahead?" asked an eastbound biker. 

"Very nice!" I responded, after which he gave me a recap of a ride he went on this same time last year.

"Last year the trail had washouts over my head east of Jefferson City!" he said.  

"Yeah, we had 8 inches of rain early last September" I recalled.  "I think there were washouts in my driveway over my head, too!"

As we talked, I learned 2 things:

1. The gentleman was from Pineville, deep in the southwest corner of Missouri, and

2.  He was 84 years old.  That's important because every year, he explained, he takes one day and "rides his age" on the Katy Trail. This year the route was from New Franklin to Rhineland.  84 long, exhausting miles regardless of your age.  Next year he can look forward to 85 miles.  Happy Birthday, Sir!  You have my respect!  I only wish I could donate a little body fat for you to burn on your ride.

Before he continued on his 84 mile jaunt, he looked me in the eye and said "Let me give you a little free advice I like to share with younger guys. You need to take up a hobby like motorcycle riding or hang-gliding or sky-diving.  That way you won't live long enough to do dang fool things like I'm doing today!"

And with that, he mounted his bike and headed east to finish the other half of his own self-imposed challenge to "ride his age" on the Katy Trail on his 84th birthday.

On the way back to my truck, I stopped at the benches that overlook the Missouri River 4 miles west of Jefferson City.  They were deserted.  Ten minutes later, though, up pedaled a guy from Belle, Mo.  He was huffing & puffing.  "I bought 5 pounds of tomatoes at Hackman's Produce in Hartsburg" he explained.  "It's slowing me down, but not like the time a friend of mine and I hauled one of those trailers designed for carrying kids and bought two 40-lb watermelons.  THAT nearly killed us!"

"Were the watermelons good?" I asked.

"They were delicious!" he said.  

"Then it was worth it!"  I said.  Good thing he got little ones.  Only last week I was admiring a 126 LB watermelon grown in Hartsburg.

Turns out the guys name was Greg Nott and he drives to the Katy Trail nearly every day from his home in Belle, Mo.  If you would like to help Greg and outdoor enthusiasts around the world, Missouri currently has the opportunity to add to it's impressive trail system by accepting the former Rock Island railway from AmerenUE and converting it to the 144 mile Rock Island Trail.  The Rock Island Trail would cross the Katy Trail twice and run right through Belle, Mo., along with a lot of other former rail towns that would like to become trail towns since the railroad left town.  Here is a link to a great editorial on the Rock Island, along with another link to express your opinion on the matter to Gov. Greitens.

KansasCity.com editorial on Rock Island Trail

                                                                        126-LB watermelon in Hartsburg 

A Skeptic Converted - Totality is Worth the Trip!

In November of 1972 Carly Simon released a recording titled You're So Vain, a song that still gets airtime 45 years later.  Some of the lyrics were cryptic.  Like, "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you".  Who she was singing about was a mystery until she spilled the beans in her memoir "Boys in the Trees".  It was Warren Beatty, who surely got a little humility after being a key player in the most famous screw-up in Oscar ceremony history.  The song included the lyric "You flew your Learjet up to Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse of the sun".  Why anyone would do that was a mystery to me as well, but that mystery was solved in my own backyard on August 21, 2017.

That's the day a total eclipse occurred at our house.  And unless you were in the 70-mile-wide "path of totality", why anyone would travel to see one is probably still a mystery.

I was a skeptic.  But one website that had great info on the eclipse compared a seeing total eclipse versus even a 99% eclipse to walking by a steak house and smelling the steak vs. going inside the steakhouse and having one for dinner (Note to vegetarians:  Please insert your favorite veggie in place of the word "steak").

I am no longer a skeptic.

On Monday, August 21, 2017, my wife and I were joined by our son, our 3 grandkids, and 3 good friends, eclipse glasses at the ready, to witness a total eclipse in the heart of rural Cole County, Mo. The last eclipse to occur where our house now stands was on July 7, 1442.  The next one will be June 3, 2505.  If only the clouds would cooperate and stay away, we were set to take it all in.

The week before the eclipse a friend of mine had told me about an iPhone app - "Solar Eclipse Timer" - that would maximize our viewing pleasure.  It cost $1.99, normally a no-no for me, but what the heck - I sprang for it!  With a mere press of a button, this app located our deck on its GPS, filled in our latitude and longitude, pre-programmed the exact times of the four stages of contact, and alerted us each time a critical time was approaching, both verbally and with a tornado warning type alarm.

As the time of the first contact approached, the excitement grew.  But it really wasn't too exciting as we all looked for the dot where the moon was encroaching on the sun's surface.  As the moon continued to block more and more of the sun,  the sun began to look like an orange moon going through all the lunar phases.  The big excitement was the second contact, that moment when the moon, 400 times smaller than the sun but also 400 times closer to earth than the sun, completely obscured the sun!

The landscape darkened and the air cooled as the moon slowly covered the sun.  With 10 minutes to go, our dog felt compelled to go jump in the lake.  Twice.  Area roosters crowed as the landscape darkened.  That's not all that remarkable for us or unusual for them to crow at odd hours.  Slowly, but surely, the surface of the sun disappeared, down to just a tiny sliver.  Then, momentarily, the sun disappeared and our eclipse glasses went black.  "You may remove your glasses" advised the Solar Eclipse Timer.  And then we saw why Warren Beatty flew to Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse of the sun.

In the sky was the most magnificent sight I could imagine.  The moon had a diamond ring around it!  Ooh's and Ah's and cheers went up from our deck.  And we could hear our neighbors cheering a half-mile away!  Staring at the sky, eclipse glasses in his hand, my 10-year-old grandson just kept exclaiming "THAT'S SO AWESOME!  THAT'S SO AWESOME! THAT'S SO AWESOME!"  In the woods just south of our home, every owl in the forest began to hoot!  I suspect they were hooting "THAT'S SO AWESOME!" but I can't be sure.  Along the tree line, either a large hawk or a smallish eagle flew through the semi-darkness.  Surprisingly, the normally vocal coyotes were silent.

I searched high and low for a video that even semi-captures the magnificence of the moment and found this video taken by Lauren Pointer.  It does a good job other than the moment when she apparently got so excited she fell out of her chair.  Take a look:

Lauren Pointer eclipse video

If you weren't in the "path of totality" - that 70-mile wide swath of land from Oregon to South Carolina which included our home, you never got to take your glasses off and marvel at that amazing spectacle in the heavens because the sun never went totally dark.  After about 2 1/2 minutes of trying to absorb and observe as much as possible, the warning came to put our glasses back on and the moon began to slowly leave the sun in it's wake.

The skeptic was converted!

On April 8, 2024, another total eclipse will occur within easy driving distance of our home.  It's path, from southwest to northeast across the U.S., will cross the path of this eclipse over the New Madrid fault in the bootheel of Missouri.

God willing & assuming Kim Jung-un hasn't started WWIII, I plan to be somewhere in the "path of totality" on April 8, 2024.  I am currently working on the lyrics of a song about my exploits to send to Carly Simon.  The tentative title of the song about my eclipse exploits is "You're So Old!"  ("He drove his pick-up to Cape Girardeau to see a total eclipse of the sun!  He's so old, he probably forgot this song is about him, about him.")

If it sells well, I'll take along a group of friends and relatives in my new Learjet.

Here are some pics from our deck as from August 21, 2017, the day I was converted to a "totality" believer.

Gavin "THAT'S SO AWESOME" Reece

Leia the mole dog enjoying the weekday company on our deck. She jumped in the lake
just before the total eclipse.

The Deck Chairs had already achieved totality

360 degree twilight during totality.  

Totality from our deck

Watching the River Be Run

Joe Wilson would be proud.

A Pedal-Power Canoe Departs the Jefferson City Checkpoint
With the Missouri Capital in the Background

Joe poured his life blood into developing Noren Access beneath below the Missouri River Bridge at Jefferson City.  So much so that it was renamed Wilson’s Serenity Point at Noren Access after he passed away last September 21.

Today, Wilson’s Serenity Point is a beehive of activity.  It is a checkpoint on the Missouri American Water MR 340, the longest non-stop canoe and kayak race in the world.

Heat, Exhaustion, and Obstacles Like This
Floating Tree Trunk Challenge Paddlers

Paddlers started in Kansas City yesterday and are now spread out between Kansas City and Hermann, Mo.  The finish line is in St. Charles, Mo.  My friend, Tom, and I stopped by Wilson’s Serenity Point Wednesday afternoon to watch the activity as canoes, kayaks, paddle boards, etc. checked in and then hit the current again en route to the finish line at St. Charles, 115 miles further downriver from Jefferson City.

As I write this blog at 5:18 pm on August 9, the Jefferson City team of David Ganey and Tod Wilson were in 38^th place.  These guys, not content with a mere 340 miles of grueling paddling on the Missouri River, rigged their kayak with wheels and pulled it behind their bicycles from Jefferson City to Kansas City.  After they finish, they will get on the Katy Trail at St. Charles and pull their kayak back home to Jefferson City. 

If you are interested, you can follow the results of the race at:

Volunteers Assist Paddlers Checking in at
Wilson's Serenity Point

MR 340 Race Results

The Ganey/Wilson team is in boat number 680.  They have named their team “TEAM 680”.  They seem to be a lot better at paddling than they are at thinking up catchy names, unlike entry 7279 (Ship of Fools), entry 3764 (Paddling Pfefferkorns), and entry 1300 (Horse With No Name) which currently leads the race.

When Joe was alive he was in his glory when an activity like the MR 340 was in progress and he was able to introduce visitors to Wilson’s Serenity Point. Some became lifelong friends.

Rest in peace, Joe.  

Wilson’s Serenity Point is still a show place.  

And “Big Boy”, that ancient tree trunk that flood waters deposited at WSP and you tied down is still in place, still securely tethered to the shore at the high-water mark (At least until the NEXT new high water mark is established).

Before Joe died, I wrote a blog about him and a blind dog he rescued and subsequently paid to have its sight restored.   You can find that blog at:

He Once Was Blind But Now Can See

It tells you a little more about the kind of man Joe was.

GOOD LUCK RACERS and REST IN PEACE, JOE!

Another Tale From the Katy Trail

Hartsburg, Missouri is a town of 105 souls located 10.5 miles west of Jefferson City via the Katy Trail.  Each October approximately 50,000 people make their way to Hartsburg for the annual Pumpkin Festival.  But most days you are more likely to meet the “Town Beagle” making his rounds than you are an actual Hartsburg resident. 

Friday morning was an exception.

Bikes loaded, my friend Tom & I headed for the North Jefferson trailhead on the Katy Trail, just across the Missouri River from Jefferson City.  By 9 am we were pedaling west.

It was a rare August day.  The temperature was 59 degrees as I got in my truck to pick up Tom.  The sun was shining brightly, but the high for the day was only expected to be 75.  Take that, San Diego!

The ride to Hartsburg was uneventful.  No snakes, and the eagles must have been sleeping in.  The air was fresh with little humidity.   It felt like we were riding in a perfectly climate-controlled environment.  In Missouri, in August, that’s unusual.

Catrike Recumbent Bike

At Hartsburg we hydrated, checked email, and marveled at our good fortune at having such a beautiful day to ride.  A guy from KC rode up on a recumbent bike.  Recumbent bikes, three wheels instead of two, are more comfortable than a regular bike.  It’s like sitting back in an easy chair.  Not for me, though.  I’ve never relished the idea of pedaling the Katy Trail with my rear end a mere six inches above both the trail and any snakes that may be sunning themselves on the trail.

While resting at Hartsburg, Tom found a Facebook post from some friends of his who are in the U.S. on a 4-year work visa from Ukraine.  That was the good news.  The bad news is that the post was written in Ukrainian.  “I think Google can interpret that for you” I suggested. Maybe later.  Mounting up, we took a quick tour of Hartsburg and then headed back toward the truck.

Four miles west of Jefferson City is one of my favorite spots on the Katy Trail.  It’s shaded, has a picnic table, two benches in memory of former Missouri Governor Mel Carnahan who died in a plane crash, and a beautiful view overlooking the Missouri River.  It is also a great place to meet people and swap stories from the trail.

As we neared the rest area, I could see a couple of bikes parked beside the trail.  As Tom & I arrived, we saw two ladies standing beside the steep bank that drops 15 feet to the river.  It was a mother and daughter from Hartsburg.   The mom owns the Eber Haus B & B in Hartsburg and the daughter works in Washington, D.C. and was in for a visit.  

New Friends Alyona and Sarah

In the course of our conversation, we discovered the daughter is fluent in Ukrainian.  So much for needing Google to translate the Facebook post of Tom’s friends.    Taking Tom’s phone, the daughter summarized the gist of the post.  “The war goes on.  How is so and so.  Did you ever do such and such?”  etc. etc.   Not nearly as dramatic as it looked written in Ukrainian.

After that, our topics of conversation ranged from snakes to mosquitos to spiders to the risk of a B&B guest unwittingly leaving a starter batch of bedbugs behind after a stay, a genuine concern for any hotel, motel or B & B no matter how fancy or expensive.

“I’ve researched the subject of bedbugs” said the mom.  “The temperature has to get to 140 degrees to kill them.”  That’s a pretty hazardous endeavor in a vintage home.  “But”, she continued, “there is a spider in the Ukraine whose diet includes bedbugs!” 

When I got home, I researched it.  The spider is the Thanatus Flavidus, and I’m sure it is friendlier than it looks.  In 2014 there was actually a petition to the White House to import the spider, which one proponent described as “adorable and harmless”, to help rid the U.S. of bedbugs. 

Thanatus Flavidus - Harmless, Adorable,
and Like Bedbug Buffets

Question: if you were in a motel, would you rather find dozens of bedbugs under your pillow or a single “adorable & harmless” spider on the wall?  My inclination is to go with the spider but my wife’s inclination is to just go – and fast. 

Ah, the Katy Trail.

Exercise your body AND your mind. 

And maybe even get a Facebook post in Ukrainian translated into English along the way.

Pedaling (and Sweating) Along the Katy Trail

At 6:30 yesterday morning I helped my friend, Tom, load his bike onto my truck and we headed for the Katy Trail.  The temperature was already 77 degrees and the humidity was near 100%.  We made one stop for coffee, but by 7:45 am we were pedaling west to Hartsburg, a little over 10 miles from the N. Jefferson Trailhead.

An Eagle Takes Flight
Along the Katy Trail

We biked less than a mile when Tom spotted a mama turkey and her chicks dining in a field adjacent to the trail.  Three miles later he spotted an eagle, and then another, perched in a tree beside the trail which follows the Missouri River for much of its 237 miles. 

Before we made it to Hartsburg, his alertness paid off once more.  “CAR!” he shouted as a vehicle approached the trail from a remote driveway as I pedaled single-mindedly ahead.  I hit the brakes and slid to a stop.  The car stopped as well and then motioned me on across the driveway. 

“After seeing all those other birds this morning I thought you were going to get run over by a Thunderbird” said Tom.

New Acquaintance Arlete
From Sacramento

At Hartsburg we rested.  Usually we can strike up a conversation with fellow bikers.  Two weeks ago I met a lady named Arlete from Sacramento, Cal.,  She was biking the length of the trail with two friends and blogging about it (arletelouise.com).  But all was quiet in Hartsburg yesterday. We made no new acquaintances, though we did renew one with the Hartsburg town beagle who stopped by to check on us.

On the return trip we stopped at some benches that overlook the river and watched a sand dredging operation for awhile.  The benches are only 4 miles from my truck so I drained my water bottle knowing I had plenty of hydration awaiting me.

Much of the Katy Trail from Jefferson City to Hartsburg is shaded in the morning, which helps offset the summer heat.  But the last four miles toward Jefferson City has its share of full sun and, with the temperature by then in the upper 80's, I arrived back at my truck dripping sweat.  While my wife hates to sweat, I love it!  Especially after a good workout.  I like to think it of a shower from the inside out.  It gives me an almost righteous feeling after a good workout.  In the shade back at the truck I had ice water, Gatorade, and fresh, perfectly ripe, juicy peaches.  Tom & I relaxed, rehydrated, and headed home. We had taken only pictures and memories and left only calories and prodigious sweat.

Tom Supervises a Sand Dredging
Operation From a Rest Stop
Along the Katy Trail

A new “rail-to-trail” is currently in various stages of construction across Missouri.  The Rock Island Trail will stretch over 200 miles across Missouri, crossing the Katy Trail twice.  47 miles is already open from Pleasant Hill, Mo. to Windsor, Mo.  Though it opened last December, it still has some work to go to bring it into prime condition.  Some day it will be a perfect complement to the Katy Trail.  Missouri was already named “Best Trails State” in 2013 by the national, not-for-profit organization American Trails.  

And it just keeps getting better!

If You Want a Friend in Washington, Get a Dog! - Harry Truman

The visit my wife and I made to the Truman Library brought back some old memories for me.  We were married August 18, 1972 and moved from Springfield to Grandview, Mo., a suburb of Kansas City, and the location of the Truman family farm.  Former President Truman and his wife Bess lived in Independence, Mo. just east of Kansas City, at the time.

I found a lot of parallels to today as we toured the library. President Truman spoke his mind and was not all that popular with the Press. He was elected Vice-President in 1944, serving with President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who was in ill health.  He was elevated to the Presidency when FDR passed away in Warm Springs, Ga. on April 12, 1945 with World War II still underway. Later that same year, Truman made the momentous decision to drop two atomic bombs on Japan. The Japanese surrendered unconditionally, saving the lives of the many American soldiers who would have been called on to invade Japan had the bombs not been dropped.

Chicago Daily Tribune
November 3, 1948

Polls gave President Truman very little chance to win the Presidential election of 1948. The front page of the Chicago Daily Tribune carried the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN" the morning after the election.  President Truman took great joy in his impersonation of NBC newsman H. V. Kaltenborn predicting Truman's defeat.  You can watch this short clip to see that impersonation:

Truman impersonates newsman who predicted his defeat

President Truman did not govern by polls.  He did what he thought was right.  Before he left office in 1952, his approval rating had sunk to 22%.  Yet when a survey was taken in the year 2000, he was selected as one of the top 5 Presidents in American history up to that point.

President Truman passed away on December 26, 1972, less than 4 months after our move to the the "big city".  He once summed up his life's philosophy as:  "Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear. And never forget a friend!"

He also famously said "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!" And he had a plaque on his desk that said "THE BUCK STOPS HERE".

His statement that "You can't get rich in politics unless you are a crook" might raise some eyebrows today, but he said what he (and more than a few others) believe.

He presciently noted that "The difficulty with businessmen entering politics after they've had a successful business career, is that they want to start at the top"; and also "A President needs political understanding to run the government, but he can be elected without it."

Though some people encouraged him to "Give 'em hell, Harry!" he explained, "I never did give anyone hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell!"

Harry S. Truman - 33rd President of the United States, 

Born May 8, 1884 - Died December 26, 1972   R.I.P.

On the Road Again

My wife and I took a road trip to Independence, Missouri yesterday.  The purpose was two-fold.  We wanted to visit the Truman Library and Truman Home AND we wanted to save some money.  Last December, Congress voted to increase the cost of a National Parks Golden Age Lifetime Pass for persons age 62 and up from $10 to $80.  The increase takes effect on August 28, 2017, though some websites I've seen say the increase is effective August 1, 2017.  The Passes can be purchased at Federal Recreation Sites. Here is pass info and a link to a pdf listing the sites where you can purchase the pass (Note: there are none around Jeff City, though Springfieldian's need only go to Wilson's Creek National Battlefield):

National Parks Pass Info

Though I have a pass, my wife did not, nor did our neighbors, Bill & Mary, who went with us.

First stop: the Truman Library.

The bad news is that we discovered the lifetime passes are not sold by, nor are they honored by, the Truman Library.  The good news is that admission is free for Veterans in July and the cost for my wife was only $6.  The lifetime passes are sold, the person at the Truman Library told us, at the Truman Home Ticket Center and Tourist Information Center at Main St. & Truman Road, a block off the square in Independence.

After our tour of the Truman Library, which I highly recommend, we headed to Main & Truman Road.  The good news is that it wasn't far.  The bad news is that you can't get there from the Truman Library right now taking a detour or two due to road resurfacing.

BUT - we made it.  We parked right beside a brand new, electric blue Corvette with Kansas tags.  Inside the Ticket Center, a harried Federal employee said "All you folks who want a Golden Age pass, line up here.  Six people lined up there, so one guy was overwhelmed while two cashiers sat idle.

Just in front of us was the guy with the electric blue Corvette.  He had, he explained, forgotten his driver's license at home.  You might be able to vote without a picture ID, but DO NOT try to buy a Golden Age pass without a picture ID!  He got back into his new Corvette with no pass and drove back to Kansas, driver's license or no, which isn't all that far from the square in Independence.

Plaque at Clinton's Drug Store
on the Square in Independence

We were more fortunate. Within 20 minutes my wife and our neighbors had their Golden Age passes in hand and we headed to Clinton's Drug Store on the
square in Independence for lunch. That's where Harry Truman had his first job.

The Truman Home at 219 N. Delaware in Independence, Mo.
BUT, get your tickets at Main & Truman Street ahead of time!

After lunch, we headed to the Truman Home where Golden Age passes were honored.  It took awhile for us to find a route around the road construction, but we made it.

A few people were already lined up for the next tour when we pulled into a shady parking spot in front of the Truman Home at 219 N. Delaware.   The gate was locked, but after a few minutes a Ranger came for the next tour.  The good news was that our Golden Age passes qualified us for free admission into the Truman Home. The bad news was that you had to get the free tickets back where we purchased the Golden Age passes.  That's what the two cashiers that were sitting idle were there for.

Plaque at the Truman Home

Rather than navigate the detours back to the Ticket Center, we toured the historic Noland Home across the street from the Truman Home.  Harry Truman's cousins once lived there, which was convenient when Harry was dating Bess who lived across the street at what is now the Truman Home.

Then we went to the National Frontier Trails Museum, an amazing source of information on the three trails west that once originated in or passed through Independence, the Oregon Trail, the California Trail, and the Santa Fe Trail.

If you are a Baby Boomer and don't have your lifetime Golden Age National Parks pass, you might want to take a road trip of your own and pick one up before the price increase.  Even at $80 it is a tremendous value.  At $10, it is an absolute steal.

Don't forget your picture ID.

It Goes On . . .

With heat indexes in the triple digit range, it helps to think cool thoughts.  Think "Frost", as in Robert Frost.  You wouldn't think someone who died over half a century ago would have much to say that would be pertinent to life today - but you would be wrong.

Poet Robert Frost
3-26-1874 - 1-29-63

Robert Frost died January 29, 1963.  I was introduced to him, in a literary sense, by my 7th grade art teacher, Mrs. Simmons.  The fact that I can remember anything from the 7th grade is the ultimate tribute to Mrs. Simmons.

One of the lines by Mr. Frost I like most and use often is: "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."

Mr. Frost once defined the duty of a jury like this: A jury consists of 12 persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer".  A man from Columbia, Mo. was just awarded ten million dollars, plus a million for attorney fees, for being wrongly convicted of murder. He was freed after 10 years.  How many years would you volunteer to go to prison for if you knew you were going to be reimbursed a million bucks a year?

On January 20, 1961, at the age of 87, Mr. Frost struggled to read a poem at the inauguration of President John F. Kennedy.  A clip of that difficult moment for Mr. Frost can be found here:

Robert Frost at JFK's Inauguration

Two years later, on January 29, 1963, Mr. Frost left us.

I am a fan of Robert Frost.  Thank you, Mrs. Simmons.  Though he said and wrote many brilliant things, none seems more astute to me as I survey the view from the "other side of the hill" than when he said:  "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Day 11 - Ten Days on the Road and We're A'Gonna Make It Home Tonight (Hopefully)

After a restful night in Clarksville, Tennessee at the end of Day 10, we planned to spend the next night in our own beds, God willing and our son's family car willing.

The logistics were complicated somewhat by the fact that the rental car had to be dropped off at Enterprise Rental during their abbreviated Sunday hours of 10 am to 1 pm.  Since Marion is only a little over 2 hours from Clarksville and we left the hotel at 8 am, we figured that should be no problem.

There almost was.

As we got back on I-24 and entered Kentucky, we began to encounter a large number of pick-ups pulling gigantic horse trailers.  With us following our son and his family in their rental car, my wife and I held our breath as we watched a pick-up pulling a horse trailer start to move into my son's lane when he was already about half-way around.  Luckily, my son was alert enough and the shoulder was wide enough to allow my son to move off the road until the cowboy realized that lane was occupied and he jerked his truck back into the right lane.  We both breathed a sigh of relief.  Those 5 souls in that Chevy Traverse are the most important people in the world to us.  As we passed the truck, the cowboy was laughing.  My wife loves cowboys but she didn't love that cowboy.  And I imagine he got that idea from her glare as we went by.  If he's a real cowboy, he knows there are two theories about arguin' with an upset woman.  And neither one works!  To which I might add, if you aren't going to drive carefully for your own sake, at least do it for the horse's sake!"

Just for old time's sake, Google Maps took us on another detour en route to Ike Honda in Marion.  I THINK we avoided road construction by taking the detour, but I'll never know for sure.

Thank You For the Colorado Chevy,
Enterprise Rent-A-Car

At Ike Honda we transferred everything from the rental car to our son's family's car, old "less than" faithful with a new alternator.

30 minutes later the rental car had been returned, we'd had a pit stop, and we were back on the interstate.

Back to Old Faithful (up until this trip)

4 1/2 hours later we were home from a wonderful trip that had it's share of glitches but made up for it with MORE than it's share of wonderful memories.

Now we've just got to get grandma's wheels fixed before the next trip or, by golly, she's getting a mobility scooter.

With four-wheel drive.

You're Not Taking My Grandkids on Vacation Without Me!!
Note - Any resemblance between the woman in this picture
and my wife is purely coincidental.

 

What I Did On My Summer Vacation – Day 10 – An Early Wake-up Call

The alarm was set for 6 am.  The plan was to be loaded up, coffee in hand, and on the road out of Orlando by 7 am.  You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men?  They often go awry.

At 5:44 am my phone rang. 

Me: (sleepily) Hello?

Caller:  My name is Marcy.  I’m calling from your security company.  At 5:22 am, two motion detectors were activated in your son’s home.  We’ve been unable to reach him or his wife and you are third on the list to call.  We’ve notified law enforcement and they are on their way.

Me: (suddenly wide awake) My son and his wife are with us.  I will let him know.  Thank you very much!

Putting on some shorts and a t-shirt I went through the living room, past my sleeping grandkids on the fold-out bed, and knocked on the other bedroom door.  My daughter-in-law opened it.  My son had gotten the voice message from the alarm company and was hastily signing onto his computer to look inside their house via the security camera.  “Uh Oh” he said.  “The door to the patio is open.”

My daughter-in-law had already called her dad and he was en route to their house.  He had checked out their home 12 hours earlier, accompanied by one of his young granddaughters, and everything had been fine.  From the external security camera, we could see the deputies drawing their guns and preparing to enter the home.  Then my son rewound the security footage to see if he could identify whomever entered the home.  Back he went to the previous evening when his father-in-law had set the alarm after feeding the cat and checking the premises.  That’s when he noticed something strange.  The back door was standing wide open when his father-in-law set the alarm and left the home the previous evening.  Mystery solved.  No intruders were involved, except friendly ones.  Either his father-in-law or the toddler granddaughter he brought with him had left the door open.  At 5:22 am, the cat must have decided “Hey, if they aren’t going to live in here anymore, then I believe I will” and entered the premises, setting off multiple motion detectors and an ear-piercing alarm, whereupon she decided maybe outside wasn’t so bad after all.

My daughter-in-law called the security company and informed them her dad was on his way to the address, but apparently that info did not make it to the investigating officers.  As soon as he arrived on the scene, he was treated as a suspect and questioned by the officers.  In fairness to the officers, he shouldn’t have been treated as a suspect.  OFFICERS, WE HAVE VIDEO EVIDENCE EITHER HE OR HIS YOUNG ACCOMPLICE DID IT!

Left the door open, that is.  Nothing was missing.  Nothing had been disturbed (if you don’t count my sleep).

Good thing we live in a pretty safe country neighborhood.  One time when my wife and I came home from a trip one night early, two cars were blocking our driveway before we even had the car unloaded in the garage.  Neighbors had seen car lights headed down our long driveway, knew we were out-of-town, and took action.

The rest of Day 10 was easy compared to the first 30 minutes.  We were headed out of town, coffee in hand, shortly after 7 am.  My wife was still in pain from her strained knee and surgically repaired foot.  She took a pain pill and then added nausea to her list of woes. 

Crews Repairing I-85 in Atlanta

We encountered the remnants of Tropical Storm Cindy near Macon, but the traffic was fairly light through normally nightmarish Atlanta.  Kudo’s to the Georgia Dept. of Transportation.  A massive, intentionally-set fire in March had collapsed a bridge, closed I-85 in both directions, and created a monstrous commuter problem.  It was originally hoped the highway could be reopened by June 15, the very day we were to leave home for Florida.  In fact, the highway was opened a month early on May 15.   Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  I will never cuss your cones again.

After a long day on the road, we pulled into a Marriott Fairfield Inn in Clarksville, Tennessee, a mere 6 hours from home.  Anybody remember the Monkees’ song “Last Train to Clarksville?”  I do.  I was taking Basic Training at Fort Benning, Ga. when it was popular.  One morning, a fellow soldier who I will describe as "large" and “not a morning person”, told me if I didn’t shut my mouth and quit singing “Last Train to Clarksville” when he was trying to wake up, he would take it upon himself to shut it for me.  Ah, nothing like recalling those good old Basic Training memories.  Here is a clip of the Monkees singing the song that nearly got me killed: 

Last Train to Clarksville

One more night.

What I Did on my Summer Vacation – Day 9 – See ya later, Alligator

Day 9 was our last day in Orlando and it was dedicated to resting up, packing up and saving up.  After a week of boosting the Orlando economy, Friday was dedicated to taking advantage of the free guest activities provided by Marriott’s Harbor Lake resort where we were staying.

Though swimming, swimming & more swimming was high on the list of activities favored by the kids, at noon the folks from Gatorland dropped by to put on an educational show.  And they brought a few Gatorland inhabitants with them.

“Who knows what an invasive species is? asked the Gatorland rep.  After several guesses, the rep answered his own question.  “It’s when someone brings something into the U.S. that’s not natural to this country.  Like Justin Bieber!”

If you are from Missouri, you are probably familiar with invasive species.  At this very moment, the Japanese Beetles are busy digesting every bloom on my wife’s rose bushes.  When I was a kid, finding a ladybug was supposed to be good luck.  Now we have Asian Lady Beetles, lady bug look-alikes that bite, stink and stain, and are definitely not harbingers of good luck.

The back row holds some allure for
Reptile-phobes at the Gatorland Show

Florida invasive species are a little more threatening.  Instead of eating your roses, the Burmese Python, which can grow up to 20 feet long, might try to eat you.  Many of those in Florida were released into the wild by people that got them as a pet and set them free when they got too big to safely care for.

“So, boys & girls, before you get a pet, you need to get the answers to 3 questions” continued the Gatorland rep.

1.       What does it eat?

2.       How big will it get? And,

3.       How long will it live?

Not totally unlike questions you ladies might want answered before you say “I do”.

 “Who wants to help me up here?” asked the rep to the peanut gallery surrounding him.  A dozen hands shot up.  After a kid was chosen, the rep told him to close his eyes and hold out his hand, which he did.  Then the rep opened a box behind the kid and removed a tarantula.

The crowd expressed a collective shocked gasp, which sent the kid scurrying back into the audience.  “I don’t want to help anymore!” he shouted from the back of the room.

After the tarantula, the rep brought out some type of giant lizard, a boa constrictor and an alligator for the kids to touch and, if they wanted, get a selfie with a gator.

It was a good show.  And all free, with a pitch to check out Gatorland in person.  If you want to take your family to Gatorland in Orlando there is a charge, but nothing close to the theme parks.  It has been in operation since 1949, only one year less than I have been in operation.  

And you won’t need to write down where you parked.

Florida Invasive Species

Missouri Invasive Species

What I Did On My Summer Vacation – Day 8 - It Was the Best of Days, It Was the Worst of Days

I look to Charles Dickens for inspiration on Day 8 of our vacation.  For our son’s family taking in, not one, but two Disney Parks in a single day, it was the best of days.  For my wife, unable to walk without pain and depressed that she was missing out on the grandkids excitement, it was the worst of days.  As for me, I'm an adherent to the maxim “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy and if grandma ain’t happy, run!”

I ran.

Leaving my wife in a darkened room watching a Tim Allen comedy-fest of Tool Time and Last Man Standing, I headed out to “run" a few errands.  After nearly 45 years of marriage, I have learned that if the first few attempts to cheer her up don’t work, it only makes her mad for me to keep trying.

Thursday was hot,
but not THAT hot!

Off to the Premium Outlet Mall I went looking for some North Face workout t-shirts.  I couldn’t find North Face but I did find Under Armor, and they were having a buy one, get one sale.  Sorry, North Face.

Then it was off to the Tibet Butler Nature Preserve for another hike around the swamp.  It was extremely hot, but not as hot as the forecast had been for the day.   I made a copy of it just to prove I wasn’t making this up.  Thank God & Gatorade, I made it just fine, though a couple of my favorite trails were flooded from a locally heavy downpour the previous day.

On the way back to the room, I thought of something that might cheer my wife up: Chinese Food!  I found a small Chinese restaurant, perused the menu, and ordered carry-out.  If pork fried rice won’t cheer her up, nothing will.  As I was waiting, I got a text from my son.  “Did you hear that the K. C. Chiefs fired John Dorsey?”  No, as a matter of fact, I had not.  And it was mighty surprising news then and still is as I type this.  Rumors were that some people didn’t like his management style.  Hey, he was successful.  I greatly prefer a tough boss who is successful to a guy everyone likes whose teams lose.  Now I was depressed!  When it comes to management style, I agree with the most successful manager the New York Yankees have had in my life time, Casey Stengel, the "old perfesser".  When asked about the secret to his success, Casey said “It's important to keep the guys who hate me away from the guys who are undecided.”

My wife was mildly cheered up by the Chinese food, but her day took a big turn for the better when our grandkids returned and regaled her with tales (and videos) of getting to sword fight with Darth Vader at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.  It was their favorite day of their three days at the Magic Kingdom.  It’s hard to stay depressed around happy, excited grandkids.

How ya gonna stay depressed?

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Day 7 - A Day of Rest, Relatively Speaking

Day 7 was a day of rest for us, a one day break in the 3 day "Parkhopper" Pass my son purchased for his family.  I have no idea how much their passes were, but mine was $145 for one day.  That makes the season pass at Silver Dollar City I paid $85 for look pretty darn good.

Breakfast for Max

Breakfast on the balcony with Max & my wife overlooking Sea World was followed by the grandkids spending much of the day at the pool with their parents.

Since Val was still laid up (3 Dr. appts already scheduled for the week we return), I took the opportunity to do a little hiking at a place I discovered a couple of years ago called the Tibet Butler Nature Preserve.  Minutes from the theme parks, Tibet Butler is an island of swampy wilderness set aside amidst the encroaching subdivisions. Take away the traffic noise and you might think you'd been dropped in the Everglades.

A shy resident of Tibet Butler Preserve

Though I am always on the lookout for gators and snakes, so far our paths have not crossed.  I've seen giant turtles, eagles, an armadillo and many different species of birds, but so far nothing threatening, other than the many tree roots I have encountered that looked exactly like a snake.  The deer flies were annoying on this visit, but an application of Ben's Insect Repellent discouraged them enough that they let me alone.  But not before I killed 4 of them feasting on my leg in less than 10 seconds.

That evening, Val and I took the kids swimming while their mom and dad had a "date night" dinner at Maggiano's Italian Restaurant. There is also a Maggiano's in St. Louis near the Galleria Mall which I highly recommend if you are very hungry and have a stack of discretionary cash available.  I believe it is now $33 a head for all you care to eat of their delicious offerings.

As I tried to keep an eye on our 3 grandkids in the pool, a young boy came struggling by me attempting to stay afloat.  "Could somebody give me a hand?" he said calmly to no one in particular.  I reached out, grabbed him by the arm, and deposited him at the pool edge.  After catching his breath, he smiled at me and resumed his quest to swim by himself.

After a meal of frozen pizza from Walmart, the kids crawled into their bed on the fold-out couch in front of the TV and relaxed, livening up a little when their mom & dad returned.

They needed their rest.

On Day 8, the would visit Star Wars Land at Hollywood Studios.

As Yoda would say "Need their energy to battle Darth Vader, they would.  A challenge, it would be!  To bed, off,  little ones.  Hmmmmmm.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Day 6 – The Reece’s (minus 1) Do Disney

Pretty in Pink Sunrise on
Magic Kingdom Day

The Day 6 sunrise was pretty in pink but the forecast was for a good chance of rain as we drove the 12 miles from our hotel to the Magic Kingdom.   After parking in Section 113 of the Simba parking lot, (same zip code as the Magic Kingdom!) we boarded a tram that delivered us, not to the Magic Kingdom itself, but to the next mode of transportation on our journey to the Magic Kingdom – a ferry boat.  After the ferry boat ride it was only a short walk to the entrance of the self-proclaimed “happiest place on earth!” 

But before gaining admittance to the “Happiest Place on Earth”, one must navigate the metal detector.  “No problem” I thought, erroneously, as it turned out.  With a forecast of 90+ degrees, I was clad only in a t-shirt, shorts and hiking shoes.  I still managed to set the metal detector off.  So I became acquainted with “Mr. Wand”.  Luckily, I didn’t have to make the acquaintance of Mr. Pat Down.  Maybe it was my glasses, my belt buckle, the screw in my ankle or the shrapnel in my arm from an unfortunate wood splitting incident, but the machines they were a’beeping.  The memories had already begun and I wasn’t even in the Park yet.

Finally, after every bulge on my body was investigated thoroughly and I was deemed harmless, I was granted admission to the Magic Kingdom to the sympathetic glances of fellow visitors.  Disneyland opened on July 17, 1955.  I finally got to go on April 23, 1978 and have been to both Disneyland and Disney World several times since, but it is still a thrill to walk down Main Street, the impressive silhouette of the iconic Castle in view in the distance.

Brooklyn Takes the Wheel at the
Tomorrowland Speedway

My son had already scheduled our three “fast pass” rides where we got to go directly to the front of the line while enduring the scowls of the people who already been standing in line for an hour.  Everybody gets 3 “Fast Pass” rides, but not everybody knows how to use them (me).  In that case, I suggest they bring a kid or a grandkid along to schedule them like I did.

Our first ride was the Barnstormer, a real grown-up roller coaster.  My Barnstorming companion was my 2-year-old grandson, Max, who had never been on a real grown-up roller coaster before.  I was a little nervous about how he might react.  As we waited, a couple with green hair, a British accent, and metal rings protruding from most visible parts of their bodies (and, I suspect, many parts of their bodies that were not visible) waited in line in front of us.  "Probably walked right on through the metal detector", I thought to myself.  Max, who can be adventurous or cautious depending on his mood, took the Barnstormer in stride.  He probably figured if grandpa could ride it, how dangerous could it be?

With the precision of a military operation, we checked the rides off our list, deferring those with an hour+ wait time and no fast pass until our next trip.  We made it to:

Barnstormers

Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin

Max Takes a Break 

It’s a Small World

Haunted Mansion

Peter Pan’s Flight

Pirates of the Caribbean

The People Movers

Swiss Family Treehouse

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad

Tomorrowland Speedway

Walt Disney World Railroad

Taking a break from the rides, we stopped for a hot dog lunch at Disney’s baseball themed restaurant, Casey’s.  I remembered it because a dozen years ago I spent $35 for 4 hot dogs, fries and drinks.  Boy, were those the days.  This year it was $45 for 3 hot dogs (one was foot long for the kids to split), 3 fries and drinks.  If you want to go someplace that makes it seem like the prices at Silver Dollar City are cheap, Disney World is the place, starting with $20 for parking.

At one point during the day I found a shady spot to watch Max who was asleep in his stroller.  Up walked some women wearing t-shirts that read “STUCKENSCHNEIDER GIRLS DO DISNEY”.

"Are you from Jefferson City, Mo".? I asked.  "Our family used to be", one said.  I thought so.  Only in Jefferson City have I encountered Stuckenschneider’s.

Gavin gets in the spirit of the
Dancing in the Streets Parade

The normal highlight of my day at Disney is the Electric Parade near closing time.  Alas, the Electric Parade has been discontinued at Disney World.  It it’s place are several smaller, less impressive parades throughout the day.  I was disappointed.  But, the closing time fireworks and laser light show at the Castle are better than ever.  As we waited, Mother Nature threatened to add some fireworks of her own as a dark cloud moved behind the Castle.  Thankfully, it was a bluff, at least where we were.  Back at the Resort, my wife had tried to soak up a little vitamin D at the pool, only to retreat to the room when the skies opened.

After retracing the route to our car, I checked my walking mileage for the day on my phone.  8.1 miles.  Under the 10 miles promised by the rental company on the mobility scooter I had investigated for my wife.  But as the Fireworks show ended, it was hard for me to imagine my first time scooter rider wife navigating the wall-to-wall mass of people heading for the parking lot.

If she should end up needing a mobility scooter on a regular basis, I plan to take her to Walmart and let her do a few laps so she can hold her own.  If she can make it at Walmart, she can make it anywhere.

The first time we went to Disneyland, it was just my wife and me.  Then my wife and son and me.  Then my wife and son and his girlfriend and me.  And now my son, his wife, my 3 grandkids and me.

Boy.  

Tomorrowland got here a lot sooner than I expected.

Mother Nature threatened some fireworks of her
own prior to the fireworks & laser light show