Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me I've got a chance... YEAH!
Later, when Mary introduces him to her husband, a disappointed Lloyd responds:
Lloyd: Husband? Wait a minute... what was all that 'one in a million' talk?
When Harry (Jeff Bridges) has girlfriend problems, he confides in his buddy Lloyd:
Harry: Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Harry then gets a wandering eye.
[man and woman walk by] Harry: Ooh, look at the buns on that one...
Lloyd: Yeah, he must work out.
The Graduate (1967), starring Dustin Hoffman (as Benjamin) and Katherine Ross as his girlfriend, isn't really thought of as a comedy by most people. It did have some hilarious lines, like in the following scene after Benjamin's girlfriend's mother (played by Anne Bancroft) seduced him:
Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, I just can't do this anymore.
Mrs. Robinson: You what?
Benjamin: This is all terribly wrong.
Mrs. Robinson: Do you find me undesirable?
Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think, I think you're the most attractive of all my parents friends. I mean that!
In the 2000 hit Oh Brother, Where Art Thou, prison escapees Delmar O'Donnell (Tim Blake Nelson) and Pete Hogwallop (John Turturro) get baptized, but are disillusioned after fellow escapee Everett McGill (George Clooney) explains they are still wanted by the law:
Pete: The preacher said it absolved us.
Everett McGill: For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete. I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.
Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.
Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.
In the 1983 nostalgic holiday movie, Christmas Story, Flick succumbs to a double dog dare and sticks his tongue on the frozen flagpole at the school. After emergency responders finally free Flick, the teacher confronts the class:
Miss Shields: Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this (sticking his tongue to the flagpole), but he refuses to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor Flick.
Ralphie as adult, narrating: Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew dam well it was always better not to get caught.
If you've never seen the fairy tale come to life named Princess Bride (1987), I highly recommend it. Though I initially resisted seeing it based solely on the name of the movie, I finally relented. It's now one of my favorite movies of all time. Per Wikipedia, the movie combines comedy, adventure, fantasy, romance and fairy tale. It bens with a grandfather (Peter Falk) reading a book to his sick grandson, Fred Savage:
Grandson: A book?
Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm going to read it to you.
Grandson: Does it have any sports in it?
Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles . . .
Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.
Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
I could go on and on, but I'll end this series with some memories from the 1994 classic, Forrest Gump. Here are some of my favorite lines from the movie:
Momma always said "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get!"
Stupid is as stupid does.
Jenny taught me to climb (trees) and I taught her to dangle.
Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.
(referring to Apple Computer): Lt. Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.
With iPhone 5 being introduced this week, I hope Forrest held onto his Apple stock. And, after 4 blogs on funny movie lines, one final line from Forrest Gump seems appropriate:
And that's all I've got to say about that.
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