Memorable Movie Madness - Part II

After yesterday's blog on the funniest movie lines of all time, I received two requests - both of them were for quotes from Christmas Vacation (1989).  In that movie, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), has all the relatives to his house to celebrate Christmas with predictably disastrous results.  Clark's cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) arrived with his family in a giant RV which he parked in Clark's driveway so he could empty the toilet into the nearby sewer.  The first scene finds Clark & Eddie in Clark's driveway:

Clark: So, when did you get the tenament on wheels?
Eddie: Oh, that uh, that there's an RV. Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It's a good looking vehicle, ain't it?
Clark: Yeah, it looks so nice parked in the driveway.
[Raises glass to his mouth]
Eddie: Yeah, it sure does. But, don't you go falling in love with it now, because, we're taking it with us when we leave here next month.
[Clark nearly chokes on his drink]

During the small chat, cousin Eddie had the following question:

Eddie: Your company kill all them people in India not too long ago?
Clark: No, we missed out on that one.

And finally, on Christmas Eve Clark alerted the kids to Santa's arrival:

Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City.
Cousin Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?

In Raising Arizona (1987), ex-con Nicholas Cage and his wife, ex-cop Holly Hunter have difficulty conceiving a child ("Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.")  So . . . they decided to kidnap one of the five new-born quintuplets of furniture tycoon Nathan Arizona ("I think I got the best one!")  During the investigation, police had the following narrative with Mr. Arizona:

Policeman:  Do you have any disgruntled employees?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!" 

In the 1973 movie Paper Moon, Ryan O'Neill portrayed a Depression-era con man named Moses Pray traveling with his real-life daughter Tatum O'Neill, portraying Addie Loggins.  At age 10, Tatum became the youngest person to ever win an Oscar (Best Supporting Actress) for her role in Paper Moon.

Moses Pray: I got scruples too, you know. You know what that is? Scruples?
Addie Loggins: No, I don't know what it is, but if you got 'em, it's a sure bet they belong to somebody else!

In the 1972 movie Heartbreak Kid, Charles Grodin was a newlywed on his honeymoon when he met and was smitten by the amazingly gorgeous Cybill Shepherd.  That resulted in the following hilarious (unless you were his new bride) dialogue between he and Cybill:

"Here’s the deal. The marriage is off. It was just one of those dumb things I rushed into like joining the army, except this time I’m not gonna wait around three years to get out. I had my doubts in Virginia, I was pretty sure in Georgia, you have really settled things for me in Florida. I’ve been waiting for a girl like you all my life. I just timed it wrong. Here’s the plan. I’m definitely getting out. I just have to figure a way to let her down easy. It kinda complicates things this being our honeymoon and everything."

And, to conclude today's blog, here is a scene between Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) on the different types of women:

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally Albright: I don't see that.
Harry Burns: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.

Sally then further solidified her "high maintenance" rating with the following exchange:

Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.

And, finally, one of the most famous movie quotes of all time after Sally proves decisively to Harry that she can fake an orgasm in a deli:

Older Woman Customer at next table [to waiter]: I'll have what she's having.