Memorable Movie Madness - Installment III

This is installment III of some of the all-time funniest movie lines. I've tried to keep the quotes G- or PG-rated. It is harder to do that than I thought it would be. Today's blog begins with a scene from the 1992 movie My Cousin Vinny, one of my favorite movies. A brash, but inexperienced, New York lawyer (Joe Pesci) and his sexy street-wise girlfriend, Marisa Tomei, travel to Alabama to defend a relative charged with murder:



Mona Lisa Vito: (Vinny looks at her funny) What?

Vinny Gambini: Nothing. You stick out like a sore thumb around here.

Mona Lisa Vito: Me? What about you?

Vinny Gambini: I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots.

Mona Lisa Vito: Oh yeah, you blend.


From Knocked Up (2007), a hilariously profane but pro-life movie, comes the following scene:

Alison Scott: I hope your apartment's big enough for the three of us.
Ben Stone: Oh it definitely is. That's why I got one in East LA - the rent. It's HUGE. The only thing is we have to decide if we're gonna be Crips or Bloods before we get there.
Alison Scott: Well, I look good in red.


　

In the 1984 classic movie Ghostbusters, when a sexy Sigourney Weaver becomes possessed, Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) tries to keep their relationship strictly on a professional basis:


Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule...


Since no collection of funny movie quotes would be complete without a fart joke, here's one from the 1997 movie starring Mike Myers as Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery:


Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me.
Austin Powers: I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn.



From American Pie (1999):


Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Jeez you don't have to laugh at me.


From American Graffiti (1973), an underage Terry Fields (portrayed by Charles Martin Smith) attempts to buy booze without an ID:


Terry Fields: Let me have a Three Musketeers, and a ball point pen, and one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flash light batteries and some beef jerky.
Barman: Okay, you got an I.D. for the liquor?
Terry Fields: Oh, umm, yeah. Oh, nuts, I left it in the car.
Barman: Sorry. You'll have to get it before I can sell it.
Terry Fields: Well, I... I also... I forgot the car.



From Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986):

Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Cameron: How?
Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

　

From Scrooged (1988), with Bill Murray as Scrooge-like TV exec Earl Cross:


Earl Cross: All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work... 'My back hurts,' 'my legs ache,' 'I'm only four!' The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better!


From the 2003 flick Elf, with Will Ferrell portraying Buddy, the world's largest elf:


Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite



Peter Falk portrayed CIA agent Vince Ricardo in the 1979 movie The In-laws.  Here is Vince trying to recruit his son's new father-in-law for the CIA:


Vince Ricardo: Are you interested in joining? The benefits are terrific. The trick is not to get killed. That's really the key to the benefit program.



One of my son's favorite movies is Swingers, the story of a couple of young, would-be ladies men. Here is a scene where one discusses his audition for a job at Disneyland:


Rob: Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do want? You're tall.

[Later, explaining why he was turned down for the part of Goofy]
Rob: They went with someone who had more theme-park experience.


The Grinch that stole Christmas (2000):


The Grinch (Jim Carey): What's that stench? It's fantastic.

　

From Garden State (2004):


Carol: Oh... guys? Don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector; it was beeping all night


My Big Fat Greek Wedding  (2002):


Ian Miller (the groom): How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
[New brother-in-law Nick tells him a Greek phrase: "Oréa viziá."]
Ian Miller: "Oréa viziá."[English translation] Nice boobs.


From True Lies (1994), with Arnold Swartzeneger as Harry:

Harry: Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.

　

Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt in the 1994 movie The Mask:   Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

In the 1990 movie I Love You to Death, a mother advises her daughter Rosalie on hiring a hit-man to kill her daughter's philandering husband, Joey:


Devo Nod (Rosalie's friend, portrayed by River Phoenix): How much can we pay?
Rosalie Boca: As much as we have to.
Nadja (Rosalie's mother): Yeah, you know, not too much. Try for discount.

After husband Joey survived the attempt on his life, he philosophized:

Joey Bacca: When somebody shoots you in the head it makes you think.

Tomorrow, the fourth (and final) installment of memorable movie madness quotes.